A marriage is built up over time. It can grow with small, intentional practices that make it stronger, or unravel through miscommunications, frustrations and competing schedules.
In 2020, our lives were full to the brim. My husband was scaling his business. I was working on international projects with multi-disciplinary teams. We had just welcomed our fourth son. An au pair, daycare, extra babysitters, church commitments, and extended family needs were all woven into the fabric of our days.
Then came the upheaval of COVID—homeschooling, disrupted work schedules, and the stress of uncertainty. Like many couples, we found ourselves juggling far more than normal.
Finding a Structural Solution
Both of us are fairly analytical by nature. So when we saw that something needed addressing, we asked: What’s the underlying challenge? And how do we fix it structurally?
Our answer turned out to be surprisingly simple: a weekly alignment chat. And it has resolved about 90% of our recurring frustrations.
Every Saturday morning, my husband makes cappuccinos, and we sit together at our small table overlooking the water. We bring out both the paper family calendar (with slots for each of us) and our digital agendas for work and home. Then, one day at a time, we walk through the week ahead.
We ask questions:
- Who’s picking up the kids?
- When is that long trail run scheduled?
- Are there any work travels this week?
- What evenings are family-focused, and which ones are set aside for work, church, or friends?
We also use this time to zoom out: How are we parenting well? What house projects or financial planning do we need to discuss?
This practice has brought calm, clarity, and rest to our daily life. It gives us clarity on the week ahead, and it keeps us aligned on longer-term goals.
Why This Matters
Miscommunication is one of the easiest ways for resentment to creep into a marriage. Something as small as “I thought you were picking up the kids” can spark unnecessary frustration if not clarified. But when those conversations happen in advance, many of these areas iron themselves out and drive good teamwork.
Even more, these weekly check-ins create space for give-and-take. They allow us to protect fun and rest, not just obligations. They make sure the projects that matter most actually find their place in our schedule.
Transferable Skills
This rhythm hasn’t just helped our marriage—it’s spilled into other relationships too. I’ve found that the same intentional communication habits strengthen my relationships with my kids, my extended family, and even my colleagues at work.
Caring well for your spouse often develops skills that help you care better for others: listening, planning, anticipating needs, and respecting limits.
A Challenge for You
Is this something you could implement in your week? Would your marriage—or even your other relationships—benefit from a simple, structural communication moment?
Marriage is built on daily choices. With a little intentionality, you can bring more peace, clarity, and joy into your relationship. So let’s keep choosing purpose, and keep working—week by week—toward building a truly great marriage.
Veritable with Emma 
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