This week in our ladies’ group, we’ll covering what it means to build a strong marriage. I’d love to bring you along on that journey too. After 16+ years of marriage—and walking with other couples we’ve mentored—I’ve gathered some simple truths that keep coming up. Of course, no marriage looks exactly the same, but maybe these reflections will give you fresh inspiration for loving your husband this week—or, if you’re single, for preparing your heart for the marriage you may one day desire.
🌱 If You Didn’t Have a Good Example
Many of us didn’t grow up with picture-perfect family models. For me, being raised by a single mom while my dad lived a hippie life in Hawaii, marriage often felt like uncharted territory. I carried insecurities about whether I could ever sustain a healthy marriage.
But even as a single woman, I realized I could prepare myself. I wanted to become the kind of person who could bring her best into a future marriage. That meant reading good books, seeking wisdom from older couples, and taking notes for my “marriage database.”
Not everything in marriage is within our control—relationships are complex, and both people bring their humanity into the covenant. But there are choices we can make: to keep growing, ask for God’s help, to practice self-discipline, and to nurture the skills of listening, forgiveness, and love.
So wherever you are—married or single—I encourage you to take the challenge seriously: grow in love. And by love, I mean what the Christian tradition has always meant: to will the good of the other. That kind of love takes courage, openness, and a lifelong willingness to keep learning.
📖 A Good Foundation: The Bible
Under the books and mentors who helped me in learning about marriage, is my key foundation of Scripture and the wisdom of Christian tradition.
Take Proverbs 31—the beautiful portrait of the “wife of noble character.” At the end of this book of wisdom, the biblical author presents a picture that cuts across some of our current discussions about career or homemaking, beauty and character, in ways that are sometimes surprising. At first glance, it might seem like an impossible standard. But if you look closely, it’s less about one “perfect woman” and more about timeless qualities.
Here’s a glimpse:
“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life… She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night… She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy… She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come… She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness… Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:12, 20, 25, 30)
What strikes me most is how relevant this passage still is. Across 3,000 years and countless cultures, scripture gives us a vision for what matters no matter where we find ourselves: a life marked by love, wisdom, generosity, and reverence for God.
💕 One Verse to Take with You
Let’s pause on just one line:
“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:12)
That’s a verse worth carrying into prayer this week. What’s one way you could bring your husband (or your future husband) good today? Maybe it’s choosing kindness in your words, offering encouragement instead of criticism, or even just praying quietly for him.
It’s in these daily choices—small acts of love—that strong marriages are built.
Veritable with Emma 
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